We keep hearing Donald saying he’s going to make America great again, sounds good to us but we were curious to find out when precisely it was great.
So we asked Douglas to do some research. After an exhausting 20 minutes on Wikipedia he told us that;
“1969 is a contender because they put a man on the moon, but then the National Guard shot a bunch of students at Kent State University, no hang on that was 1970. Oh hang on. Dammit the My Lai massacre was in 1969, no wait, it happened in 1968 but they didn’t find about it till 1969, we’re good.”
We pointed out that it couldn’t possibly be 1969 because Nixon became President (Though to be fair to Nixon his record on civil rights was pretty good, he did push through desegregation of schools) and they were losing the Vietnam War.
The US economy was in the toilet in the 1970’s so it can’t have been then.
“Well I looked further back and they were still lynching people in 1950.” Douglas told us. “Seriously they were still stringing people up from lamp posts in 1950. No, shit, sorry I forgot Emmett Till who was lynched for allegedly whistling at a white woman in 1955, he was 14.”
“Before then in some places like Waco in Texas it was much worse. If you weren’t white and the police beat a confession out of you they’d hand you over to the mob who’d roast you in the street over a bonfire, seriously it happened to Jesse Washington in 1916.”
Trump can’t mean then…can he?
Donald had a pretty good time in the 1980’s, the New York Times told him he looked like Robert Redford, so we suspect he means then or a time when Churches in the South announced lynchings, sold tickets to watch and families brought along picnics (1934).
Trump supporters may be hoping for a bit of both, lynchings and mullets.