Our Finance and Business correspondent, Scott Zsalt, was livid today after failing to get support from a major bank due to the fallout from the UK’s decision to exit the EU.
“I was bleeding furious I was,” shouted Zsalt, “I took in a business plan and everything! They wouldn’t even give me the mere £500 start-up loan I needed!”
The Business idea involved Zsalt and his friend Anja following iPhone 7 users and sneaking up, one on each side, before nicking an Airpod each.
“It’s a genius idea. The stupid sucker doesn’t know who to chase and we then sell the Airpods on for £50 a pair,” Zsalt explained, “There’s hardly any overheads and we only needed money for new trainers so we can leg it faster without getting blisters.”
The bank manager reportedly refused the loan on the grounds that the endeavour may not be strictly legal.
“That’s balls that is,” insisted Zsalt. “Companies break the law all the time! It’s clearly the Brexit thing! You could tell because when they removed me from his office he was shouting ‘Out! Out!’ over and over again!”
At this point the duty sergeant informed us that Mr Zsalt’s phone call was over.
