Donald Trump’s 2020 re-election campaign has debuted a new range of MAGA dog whistles at a rally in Florida this past weekend.
Florida Trump fan Stan Still told us, “I bought mine and it’s working great. POTATUS said we need to control immigration. That means sending Muslims back and taking Alabama back from Sahria Law. It’s legal for brothers and sisters to marry there which I think is disgusting.”
Trump fans Michael Corleone and Tony Soprano told us, “Immigration needs some stronger controls. You’ve got these people coming in now, they’re in gangs and running round with weapons shooting folks. When our parents came to this country they worked hard in the olive oil business. Now, with these new ones, it’s like they’re in the Mafia or something.”
Bill Board, Trumps campaign manager told us, “These dog whistles are great. I wish we could take credit for them but we stole the idea from Nigel Farage.”
A Brexit Party spokesman, Caligula Rees-Mogg told us, “People say it’s dog whistle politics but it isn’t. You’re just saying that to dismiss people’s very legitimate concerns about things like immigration and feminism.”
“We shouldn’t be afraid to discuss taboo subjects such as speciesism. It’s things like that that mean my horse, Borgia, isn’t allowed to lead a political party. But that’s a trendy metropolitan view that’s totally at odds with what the people want. People want a party led by Borgia and they shall have it.”
Brexit Party supporter, Orla Board said, “I’d never considered it before but Caligula has a good point. Nigel should step down and let Borgia lead.”
The Rochdale Herald tried to get an interview with Borgia but our interview turned up dead in the River Roch having been poisoned with oats.
