Dominic Raab is due to meet Michel Barnier for an intense 6 hours of being told to fuck off after asking for all the same things the Government already asked for but in a slightly different way to before.
The meeting is due to take place at a branch of Wetherspoons in Baarnet and will see the pair hold the discussion over a plate of gammon and a discount pint of IPAA. The 2 will definitely not be eating Scaaalops.
Prior to the meeting it’s expected that the 2 will exchange gifts. Mr Raaab is due to give the gift of a painting of Nigel Farage that failed to sell at auction this week whilst Barnier will present Raaaab with Nigel Farage.
The two will then settle in for 6 intense hours of negotiation where Raaaaab will demand the UK be allowed to do whatever it wants otherwise it will flounce off and everyone will drive Nissaaan’s because we won the war. Mr Barnier will then say no to various requests that the Government has already been told ‘no’ to and the two will then leave promising to have another meeting where Mr Raaaaaab will make all the same demands again but in a slightly different way.
The meeting was supposed to take place earlier but Mr Raaaaaaab ran into trouble when his car broke down outside an Aardvark sanctuary. Mr Raaaaaaaab called the AA but they were several hours late due to the Aardvark sanctuary being very popular in the school holidays.
Mr Raaaaaaaaab will also seek to reassure members of the public that the Government stockpiling food and medicine is prudent rather than a symptom of how utterly feckless the entire political class of the UK actually is.
