MP Sarah Champion, permed badger and former/current shadow Minister of Preventing Abuse and Changing One’s Mind, unresigned today in what the Guardian and Owen Costello Smith are calling”definite proof that nobody trusts or likes Jeremy Corbyn.
The Mallon streaked flip-flopper originally resigned to show everyone that resigning in a failed coup and saying that the Labour leader was rubbish was her not taking sides.
Apparently she’s still not taking sides in begging for her old job back.
“Clearly Jeremy and his team have someone she loves locked in a cellar somewhere,” said an anonymous source in the Labour Party who we’ll call Mord Leter Pandleson, “he’s obviously threatened to kill them if she doesn’t go back! I know, it’s exactly what I would do.”
Meanwhile a spokesliar for Mr Smith told us: “The mere fact that the Minister for preventing abuse is returning to her role pretty much underlines the fact that Corbo and his mad Marxist marauders are against preventing abuse!”
Sarah wasn’t available for comment but we look forward to her reresigning and unreresigning in the coming weeks. Probably.
