Serial cash withdrawer Sir Philip Green has caused fresh controversy today with claims that revered British folk hero Robin Hood was the’ worst sort of criminal’.
Green made the comments in an interview with ‘Capitalist Scumbag Monthly’ magazine, who had made him their Mr July centerfold. Interviewer Gordon Bennet had asked how Sir Philip had managed to evade any sort of sanction for so long.
Green said “Well it’s about having money. Take the story Robin Hood for example, he was truly the worst sort of criminal. He supposedly robbed the rich and gave to the poor. That’s hardly believable is it? Even in those days the rich could employ guards and soldiers to protect their money, and even if he still got away with some, he couldn’t get it all. And even if he gave it to the poor, which I seriously doubt as if he’s like me he had a demanding missus to keep in tights, the only place they could spend it was with the local rich landowner, so it came straight back. Hood was an utterly stupid criminal.”
“Todays rich people can afford to employ shady ex-SAS bodyguards to protect against that sort of thing, and then excellent lawyers will prosecute what’s left of the thief after they’ve finished. No, it’s far easier to rob from the poor and give to the rich. All the poor have is water pistols and Judge Rinder.”
Echoing the country’s disgust at the remarks was Smaug, a Dragon from Lonely Mountain.
Speaking from on top of his vast hoard he said “He’s an insult the fabulously wealthy, at least some of us are honest in our intention to rob you blind. I wouldn’t set fire to him if he was covered in piss.”
