Steve Bannon has announced that he’ll now have more time to be with his prejudices following his sacking by mutual consent earlier today.
A White House communications officer said, “There was prejudice on both sides between Steve and the President. In the end the President felt that sacking Steve was the right thing to do. Steve felt that being sacked was the right thing to do.”
It’s alleged that Bannon will use the time to mine new seams of prejudices as well as his established ones. He’s alleged to have told an aide, “I’ve done the darks. I need to branch out a bit. There’s whole swathes of America like the Redskins. I mean, they talk about how white people nicked their country. Not so. They helped white people and gave them stuff. Is that the behaviour of people whose country is being stolen?
The battle of Little Bighorn saw violence on both sides. Those Redskins weren’t exactly peaceful. And, I’d like to point out that there’s never been a permit to protest found signed by Chief Sitting Bull.”
Steve Bannon then went on to reveal his new direction would also include sectarianism. “There’s the whole Catholic v Protestant thing. I’ve never had a go at the Irish or Gypsies. Some people think I’m not anti-semitic because I support Israel. I only support Israel because I hate rag heads more than the Jews. I’d still not like to live with either.”
Besides religious bigotry Bannon has also said he intends to invent more leftist conspiracies so he can cause a right wing revolution which in turn will lead him to start an alt-right revolution. This will pave the way for his, I can’t believe it’s not the alt-right revolution that will make America great again as the only remaining American will be Bannon.
Bannon has also revealed he won’t stop there. “Cats think they’re so good because they can lick their own genitals. I’ll show them. I’m going to make a war with cats then start on dogs. After that I’m going to finally sort out the wasp v hornet problem.”
It’s alleged that Bannon will first spend this weekend relaxing with some beers and a big burning cross after fighting leftist suppression.
