The Tory Party has declared victory in its war against the disabled and announced it will re-deploy its resources in a war on pot holes.

A spokesman said, “Our victory is accomplished. We have difficult work to do going forwards. Now we have run out of disabled people we will begin a new front. Pot holes. The number of pot holes in this country are holding people back from being able to pitch tents. I speak to a lot of homeless people. Usually when I’m burning bank noted in front of them or giving them McDonald’s laced with Cyanide. What they say is they struggle to pitch tents in the street because of pot holes. We want to unleash the potential of Britain. Homelessness in Britain is set to soar and we say that we are listening and will make our streets fit for people to live in.”

“When we talk of a one nation Britain we a talking not just about getting rid of people different to us. We are also saying that everyone should have the same opportunities. People should be able to get to food banks without tripping over pot holes on the way to them. That’s why you should vote for us.”

“One political analyst said, “The Tories are clearly trying to move the narrative from Brexit to more domestic issues. When they got to power in 2010 they identified disabled people as being one of the main things holding the country back. Now they’ve run out of disable people to persecute so they feel they must identify another area to attack. That’s obviously pot holes.”

The announcement was made at todays party election manifesto launch. The Party has also announced it intends to tackle Islamophobia in the party by deporting all Muslims. Other