Middle class mums all over the Home Counties are being credited with a reversal to the effects of Global Warming after tens of thousands of them drove enormous Range Rovers to their local Waitrose to buy loose cereal this morning.
“Buying Coco Pops with a scoop is exactly the kind of affirmative action that will completely halt the destruction of the planet. ” Marjorie Doors part time homeopathic Earth mother, part time faith healer, part time candle maker and full time Range Rover driver told The Rochdale Herald.
“I’m so keen to save the planet that I drove the better part of half a mile from my house and queued for half an hour with the engine running behind several hundred other diesel Range Rovers just to get into Waitrose car park this morning to buy plastic free Frosties, and two dozen fairtrade Mexican avocados.”
“Obviously the avocados were wrapped in single use plastic and had been flown 3,000 miles in a refrigerated airplane but that’s not the point is it?”
Range Rovers are wrapped in huge sheets of single use plastic to stop them being scratched when they’re delivered to their new owners.