Nigel Farage has confirmed that when he or his party talk of ‘the Blitz spirit’ he is referring to the act of cowering on the top deck of a bus because somebody has been spotted nearby holding a milkshake.
The term, has been used to refer to the stoicism and patriotism that British civilians displayed whilst enduring night after night of bombing. Recently, many Brexit supporters have sought to invoke ‘the Blitz spirit’ as a rallying call for Brexit.
A spokesman for Mr Farage said, “It’s well known that ‘the Blitz spirit’ is a misunderstood term. This is because of leftist historians who wanted to brainwash people into believing that it’s something to do with bravery. This is wrong and an example of cultural Marxism. In reality most Londoners were cowering in tube stations as bombs rained down on them. Imagine if that had been milkshakes. There’d have been riots.”
Brexit Party member Bill Board told us, “I remember having my Birthday Party in a Wimpy in 1972. Me and my mates all got milkshakes and threw them at the teenager dressed as Mr Wimpy. He retreated and hid in the toilets. I remember my Gran saying it reminded her of the war.”
But Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, “This is completely preposterous. It falls into the same pattern of total blithering idiots trying to redefine the Nazis as socialists, throwing drinks at people as heinous acts of violence and I’ve just met a man who called for the arrest of somebody drinking a milkshake at a bus stop.
It’s about time that someone told Farage and his ilk that just because they’ve induced a bunch of half-wits to disfigure British society by prancing around in tweed calling others traitors and enemies of the people they think they’re someone. They think they’re the voice of the people when in fact, many people are sat thinking, look at that ass Farage poncing around in tweed like some small ineffectual poundshop Mussolini figure.”
The Rochdale Herald were also able to contact Mr Farage’s milk man who told us, “He keeps running away and hiding every time he sees the milk float. The other day he was found cowering in a wardrobe after somebody clinked a milk bottle too loudly. I don’t suppose he’s ever going to pay me now.”
