Old fat rogue, “Sir” Philip Green has been named in the House of Lords as the “businessman” behind an interim injunction in the latest #metoo scandal to surprise no one.

For many years, his alleged and entirely unproven participation in loosely consensual parties where people like supermodel [redacted] would be off their chops thanks to lots of freely available [redacted] and be “consensually” seen to, has been an open secret in London.  It being London, it was probably seen as aspirational.

He’s also well known for allegedly treating his employees poorly. Like the time BHS collapsed not long after he sold it, and mysteriously there were no pensions available. Or the workers on low wages in his other stores. Or the clothes that you buy from Top Shop with the typical rigorous examination of where and how they are made, you complicit swine.

Indeed, Green has for some years served as a one word answer to anyone arguing for free market capitalism.  Even the most dyed in the wool Tory starts contemplating at least paternalistic regulation after looking at a photo of his fat face for more than a minute.  A wrecker of lives, the tax dodging toad has for many years claimed that he does not own the businesses he runs. No, his Monaco-resident wife does. Of course she does.

The legitimacy or otherwise of that ownership structure is about to be put to the test. With the porker accused of having gagged a string of sexual harassment cases and racism, the Herald is moved to ask, “why are you still with him Mrs Green?”

Could Mrs Green not leave him? After all, she owns everything, apparently. Could he be left, like the employees of British Home Stores, without a pension in retirement?  

That’d be a shame wouldn’t it.

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Like many satirists, Johnny Wapping accepts he is an arsehole, and thinks society could be better if we were all willing to accept what arseholes we are. If you see him on Facebook, why not ask if he's read the article?