The Government has announced that the UK’s economy is now based solely on beer and barbeques.
In a statement the Treasury said, “The sunny weather has really helped the economy. With much better growth than expected we analysed the data and worked out it’s definitely linked to the hot weather. Further analysis showed that barbeque sales were up as was beer sales. Now if we maintain this kind of level we’ll have the deficit paid off in no time”
The news from the treasury seems to contradict guidance from the Department of Health that people should cut down on the amount of drink they consume.
One spokesperson said, “Having to treat all these drinkers is costing the NHS a lot of money. The Treasury should stop encouraging people to drink more and concentrate on maintaining a healthy productive work force.”
In response, a Treasury spokesman said, “Are you mugging me off? I didn’t study economics for 5 years to be talked down to by the likes of you. Come on, outside.”
At this point a DEFRA spokesman told the Health spokesman, “Calm down, it’s not worth it.”
Drinking enthusiast Bill Board, 47 told us, “My drinking and diet of carbonized cheese burgers is what’s going to turn this country around. You don’t see the millennials drinking 11 pints a night. No, they wouldn’t know what graft was if it hit them in the face. Mark my words, as soon as I’ve dies from Liver failure this country will go down the pan.”