Fears are growing this evening for a Glasgow bin man whose boat has been found wrecked off the west coast of Scotland.

The man, a worker for Glasgow council for twenty years, known to his friends as Bogie is thought to have been sailing his dinghy Dignity when he lost control of his boat.

“He drank a lot of Raki,” a spokesman for the coastguard told The Rochdale Herald, “one theory is that he might even have been drinking Raki and reading Maynard Keynes.”

“You can’t operate a boat and read about macroeconomics. If he was reading The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money it’s entirely possible that he threw himself overboard out of boredom or the realisation that all of the money he had saved from a lifetime picking up litter was most likely going to become worthless.”

“The realisation that the application of Keynesian principles will most likely lead to a prolonged period of low growth and high inflation that will pretty much wipe out all the money in his kitty may have been a factor.”

The search has so far found no sign of Bogie, but a Sunblest bag with a sandwich in it has been found on a beach in Lamlash

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.