A man who beat a colleague to death with a computer keyboard in what has been described as a frenzied attack has been cleared of all charges.
In what is being hailed as a landmark case for human rights by many pundits the jury saw fit to dismiss all charges after it was revealed the attacker had been wished a “good morning” before he’d had a chance to finish his first cup of coffee.
“People have a right to be allowed to have a cup of coffee in peace before they have to engage in idle office tittle tattle.” Judge Reinhold told court reporters this morning.
“I myself once throttled a barrister within an inch of his life for nodding at me in a corridor at 7:15am.”
“I hope ‘morning people’ take heed of this ruling and stop being so bloody friendly before noon.”
Representative of Amnesty International who were representing the accused, Mr Steve Dickinson, told The Rochdale Herald that:
“Today is an important day for justice. Mr Dickinson was the real victim here. Having to deal with chatty colleagues is hard enough, but having to do it before you’ve got a cup of coffee in you is probably a breach of your human rights, probably.”
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