Everyone on Facebook is now an expert in analytical chemistry it has been revealed.
The news comes after scientists at Porton Down revealed that they can’t definitely say that the poison used in Salisbury came from Russia.
Dr Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College said, “It’s not like molecules have addresses on them. You can identify quite quickly using LC-MS or Nuclear Magnetic Resonance what something it. You could perform retro-synthetic analysis to identify possible precursors but that doesn’t necessarily help identify where something came from unless the precursor is very specific. An arrangement of Novichuk carbon atoms in our lab would look the same as those in a lab in Moscow. That’s why paying extra for sea salt or cider vinegar is a load of rubbish.”
But politics fans aren’t interested and have spent the day telling people how this backs up their own personal theory. Bill Board told us, “See. It might not have come from Russia. It could have come from somewhere else. Like Porton Down for instance. This is definitely proof that it’s a false flag. It was only a few miles from Porton Down so it must be.”
Dr Seddon said, “If only there was some organisation of people who investigate this sort of thing. They could investigate and amass evidence then prove in a controlled way who did it and why.”
It’s understood that Cambridge University will present everyone on the internet with an honoury Chemistry degree next month.
Stan Still told us, “This is fantastic. I failed chemistry at GCSE. I’ve got a house full of things like a salt lamp that prevents cancer and I killed my son after giving him a bleach enema to ward off autism. I’ve even caused 2 measles outbreaks because I think vaccines are part of population control.”
“Now I’ve got a degree and didn’t have to study for it. All because the newspaper that best represents my political views wrote a paragraph about how you identify a molecule. I’m going to set up as a doctor.”
