Tony the Tiger, the face of the Frosties breakfast cereal brand since 1952, has according to sources, lost a paw to Type 2 diabetes.
Mr The Tiger has apparently been suffering from Type 2 diabetes since his pancreas since his pancreas started to lose the plot in the early 1990’s. Nutritional experts have concluded that apex predators such as tigers and humans probably shouldn’t eat a bowl of refined sugar for breakfast everyday, unless they want to ruin the circulation in their lower limbs and go blind.
Tony, or Anthony as he prefers to be called, told a reporter from The Rochdale Herald that: “The NHS, THEY’RE GR-R-EAT! I really can’t praise them enough, I’ve been struggling to manage my blood sugar for a while now. You know, work commitments. I might have to eat thirty of forty bowls of Frosties a day when I’m shooting a commercial.”
“Tigers are supposed to eat people not processed cereal grains covered in sugar. And don’t get me started on dairy.”
“How’s a tiger supposed to digest cow’s milk. I can digest a whole cow no problem, but their milk is a bit of an issue. It turns out lactose makes your blood sugar go bloody crazy too. Who knew? Apart from the doctors who were bribed by the milk and sugar lobby in the 1950’s to spin us this whole low fat is healthy bullshit?”
“As soon as I get back on my paws I’m going on a healthy low sugar and high protein diet. You know what they say a human a day keeps the vet away.”
