Scientists from Rochdale Community University have proven conclusively that Superdry jumpers are, in fact, just a normal amount of dry like all other jumpers.
The multi-million pound study was funded with a grant from the European Union Really Important Science Fund and has taken several years to complete.
Burnley born Professor of Stuff David Brierley told The Rochdale Herald: “We were as surprised as anybody else to discover that Superdry jumpers are exactly the same amount of dry as other jumpers.”
“They’re just as dry as Jack Wolfskin jumpers for example, that aren’t made from Wolfskin you’ll be shocked to learn. They’re no drier than a jumper than from say Boundary Mill or Asda. They are loads more expensive though.”
“We also discovered that North Face jackets don’t always face North, and are incidentally worn by twats with more money than sense.”
Professor Brierley is now working on a project to discover whether Hunter wellies keep your feet drier than other wellies, seeing as they cost loads more than other wellies.
