Royal offspring are like the grown up children who return to the nest once they have completed their time in higher education.

You think it’s finally over but unlike the Geoff Hurst 1966 fourth goal it isn’t.

Now they are back and in need of some funds from the cashpoint that never says no.

This, Great Britain, is the time to prepare your Pringles and Salsa Dips for the wall to wall coverage of the wedding of the year and once more you’ll be grateful that you can glimpse what it’s like where the grass is greener over the fence.  

Not since Pippa Middleton’s bottom burst onto our tv screens have we seen such excitement with regards to the House of Windsor. The tabloids aided and abetted by betting firms have already added fuel to the fire by placing odds on the possible names of the firstborn.

This reporter is thinking of placing a fiver on ‘Chardonnay’ for a girl and ‘Kai’ for a boy. I mean stranger things have happened; ask the cast of the hit reality show ‘the United Kingdom Independence Party.’

One must think that this new generation of royals are in constant competition as to which son is more “street”. After his older brother married a commoner it was a masterstroke for the Harry to up the stakes by proposing to a woman who is not only a commoner but a divorced American actress. Game on!

Being the man of the people he always was, Prince Harry has asked that nobody buys him a Christmas present and tbat he just gets money to put towards the wedding instead.

Bless the Royals. Shut up and take our money.