A woman from Rochdale has admitted that she doesn’t really like Earl Grey tea because it tastes horrible.

Winifred Barbarella from Milnrow (35 and three quarters), who wishes to remain anonymous, is an unemployed personal shopper and part time social media influencer has confirmed that she only drinks Earl Grey tea because it sounds “a bit posh”.

She said: “I’ve been drinking it for years and frankly it’s revolting. I’m not convinced it’s even tea. It might be some kind of practical joke. I can’t tell people I hate it now after drinking it for 12 years, they’ll think I’m a twat.”

“I’ve been drinking it without milk with a splash of lemon. Honestly it’s disgusting, but I’m a social media influencer. I can’t go around saying extra milky with fifteen sugars like my dad drinks it. People might think I’m working class or something.”

Posh people around the country have confirmed that they haven’t been drinking Earl Grey tea for almost 150 years because “it tastes like piss.”

“It tastes exactly like I imagine piss would taste.” Clive Fearnley-Wittenstall, an aristocrat from Berkshire told The Rochdale Herald. “I have honestly never met anybody who drinks Earl Grey tea and I spend most of my weekends with the Queen.”

“We tend to ironically drink PG Tips with twenty seven sugars out of chipped mugs. It’s delicious.”

“Liz usually drinks Vimto and is very partial to a Wagon Wheel.”

The makers of Earl Grey have confirmed that the recipe was originally used as an effective insect repellant.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.