Passengers from both sides of the Pennines travelling on a train between Manchester and Leeds are united in agreement that a young, overly keen recruitment consultant on the phone sounds like a bit of a bell end.

The Recruitment Consultant, who probably works for Hays or Michael Page, was overheard by a trainful of jaded commuters on Wednesday evening.

Steph Saunders, a passenger from Garforth told The Rochdale Herald: “He was saying things like ‘they’re going to invite you back for a second’ and ‘it’s a live vacancy’ and other tedious things that could have been written on an email.”

“I don’t think he’s been a recruitment consultant for that long.” Alan Sanderson, a Recruitment Consultant from Harrogate added. “I’ve been doing it for fifteen years and my wife still thinks I play a piano in a whore house.”

Experts in Lancashire and Yorkshire diplomatic have suggested that this might be one of the few times that Lancashire folk and Yorkshire folk have agreed with each other since before the War of the Roses.

“It certainly doesn’t happen often.” Mary Berry, Professor of Acting Like a Bit of Twat Studies at Rochdale Community University. “Certainly a common enemy is a good way to unite people.”

Alan Sanderson added: “I’m not sure enough people have told him he sounds like a bit of bell end shouting into a telephone on a packed commuter train.”

Doctors say that excessive mobile phone use causes memory loss, you forgot what a twat you sound like talking on the phone on the train.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.