A husband whose wife told him to do whatever he likes is still not aware that he really isn’t going to get to do what he likes.

James Barrow, 35, from Barrow asked his wife if it would be okay to go watch Wolverhampton play Huddersfield on Saturday rather than go to his godson’s birthday party at Funtropolis softplay in Castleford.

Speaking from the sofa in the living room he said: “she was pretty cool about me ditching her with the kids on Saturday so I can go to Wolverhampton with my mate Steve to watch the football. She even said it was fine.”

“Or did she say “fine”? I can’t remember she either said “fine do whatever you like” or “it’s fine do whatever you like.” Is that important?”

Steve Dickinson, Friend, 42 and a half, from Rochdale added: “there’s no way Jim is coming to the football. The only way he’s watching that match is on his phone in the ball pool at the soft play.”

“He’s a bit thick if he thinks “fine do what you like” means “go to the football with Steve, I hope you have a lovely day.”

“I’ve already sold his ticket.”

James is still in denial about Funtropolis.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.