The President of the United States, Donald Trump attended a party in the exclusive Hamptons recently and apparently walked in like he was walking onto a yacht.
His hat strategically dipped below one eye and wearing an apricot coloured scarf, he apparently kept one eye on the mirror at all times as he watched himself gavotte.
In a private conversation leaked to The Rochdale Herald he insisted that all the girls dreamed that they’d be his partner.
He told others at the party “I’m so vain, so vain, Carly Simon wrote a song about me. I’m so frickin vain, I bet you think that song is about me don’t you? Don’t you? Well you’re right.”
A female attendee at the party told us “Oh, he had me several years ago when I was still quite naive. He said that we made such a pretty pair and that he would never leave but he gave away the things he loved and one of them was me.”
The President’s itinerary also included a trip to the races at Saratoga where his horse won, naturally. He then flew his Learjet back to Washington to see the total eclipse of the sun.
Whilst his personal, private secretary usually ensures that he is always where he should be all the time, occasionally he is not and can be found, as POTUS himself told our source, “with some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend, wife of a close friend.”
I’ll bet you think that song is about him.
Don’t you?
Don’t you?
