In a candid interview for the Rochdale Herald, an unnamed child of parents who sincerely believe that their child can somehow be damaged by another child not wearing trousers has told of his confusion over the matter.
“Look, I am six years old. Imaginative play is still big on my agenda and, like my Uncle Barry, I like dressing up, though I prefer my Luke Skywalker costume to that weird stuff with holes in the bit for his bottom that Uncle Barry keeps hidden in the back of his wardrobe and which my dad keeps ranting about. Dad says Uncle Barry is confused and God isn’t happy about it. One of the boys in my class sometimes comes to school in skirt and the Teachers have told us that on some days he prefers to wear this instead of trousers. I honestly didn’t think much about it until I mentioned it in passing to Dad.”
At this point he looks over his shoulder to see if anyone is listening and whispers so as not to be overheard.
“Dad got all upset and said things about it damaging and confusing me and that it was bad for me and that God wouldn’t like it. I didn’t really understand because it’s not me who wears the skirt to school and anyway, I thought God was supposed to love everyone, isn’t he? Unless wearing a skirt is something to do with some Big Bang? – I don’t think God likes that. Now I’m not allowed to go to school because Dad says I might catch trannyness or something like that. I don’t mind because the sums were really hard. My Teacher says that the really hard sums are from somewhere called Gove”
He sighed, and finished “The only thing I’m really confused about is that this boy is littler than me but he’s still the fastest runner in the class.”