The world was breathing a little easier this morning with the news that Father Ted is to use a toy cow to explain perspective to the President of the United States.
For several days a solution has desperately been sought to the question of how you can make Donald Trump understand that the Nazi’s are the bad guys. So bad in fact that anyone opposing them would have to do something pretty nasty to end up in a position of moral equivalence.
Dermot Morgan is sadly unavailable to physically educate the President, but Graham Lineham has come to the rescue with the offer of rebuilding a much loved set from his famous television show for the purpose of educating the President.
The set will be built in Ireland again and comprise a cramped caravan in the middle of a field of cows placed at varying distances away. President Drumpf will be taken to the caravan and told that the inside of the mobile home contains the secret to making everything in his world pure gold.
It’s hoped that Donald will step inside of his own volition. Inside he will find a virtual reality headset. The headset will be covered in cat’s fur with an instruction that Trump should grab it.
Dr Michael Twopoints, consulting psychologist on the set, filled in the Rochdale Heralds ‘Nazis are the Bad Guys’ correspondent on what POTUS could expect next,
“We don’t rule out having to force him to wear the headset.” Dr Michael said. “His stupidity is almost as severe as his poor judgement and lack of perspective. But hopefully the lure of discovering a magic gold power will be enough for him to don the headset voluntarily.”
Once the headset is activated President Trump will find himself magically turned into Father Dougal McGuire faced with Father Ted Crilly and a toy cow.
It’s hoped that repeatedly asking Donald Trump to examine both the toy cow and the cows visible at varying distances outside of the caravan will cause a lightbulb moment in the dark and empty space that serves as a brain for Donald, but no one is getting their hopes up.
If the experiment fails the next plan is to gift Donald Trump a Ladybird book that explains how white supremacists are secretly after his tax returns.
