Jeremy Corbyn today strenuously denied having pineapple on the pizza he shared with Assad Supporting, Genocide Denier and all around Russian puppet Marcus Papadopoulos.
Despite repeated photos appearing of the offending pseudo-Hawaiian culinary insult, JC (Peace be Upon You) remains defiant.
Mr Corbyn defended the flat-bread product which, he said, was ‘purely ham with perhaps the odd olive’ and ‘differed widely from the fruit based or anchovy adorned Bianchi Pizzas preferred by the Conservatives – which work for the few and not the many.’
Hysterical critics clutching at straws have suggested the alleged Hawaiian is a reflection of Mr Corbyn’s own anti-Israeli views since it contains ham as well as the offending pineapple.
However Diane Abbott was quick to point out that “It was Kosher ham, unless you are in any way concerned about animal welfare, in which case it wasn’t and it definitely wasn’t Halal ham, although it was definitely British ham, unless you are pro-Remain in which case it was Danish, although are they members of the EU? or just the Single Market? – It can get really confusing.
Anyway, they split the bill 60:60 so Jeremy doesn’t share his views and only ate his own part of the Pizza. Which didn’t have pineapple on it”
Other items on the menu as well as The Hawaiian included The Syrian (A combination of Russian, American & Kurdish toppings), The Srebrenician (temporarily unavailable because apparently it didn’t happen) and the house special, The Jeremy (whatever you want it to be, conveniently, to whomever is asking)
Marcus Papadopoulos declined to comment, but remains a pretty regrettable individual to take selfies with.
