Secret delegations from the 50 states of the United States of America have agreed a plan to avoid the impeachment of Donald Trump as President of The United States of America, The Rochdale Herald has learned.
“It’s such a simple idea, we don’t know why someone hasn’t thought of it sooner,” said one secret delegate from a liberal Trump-hating state.
“We have come together like the Constitutional Conventions of our forefathersand decided unanimously to cecede from The United States of America and to form a new independent nation,”he said.
“And we are going to surprise the world and make our announcement on Indepence Day, yesserie bob, we are doing it on the Fourth of July,”he said
“That should set off some fireworks!” The new nation will be known as The United States of Vespucia after the Italian-born Spanish navigator Americus Vespucius, whose first name was the inspiration for “America,” The Herald has learned.
A group of the secret delegates said a new civil war would be avoided because the constitutional convention had invested heavily in opinion polling and there was wide agreement in the country that something had to be done to rid itself of the Trump Presidency.
This way, Donald Trump can continue to be President of the non-existing USA and The United States of Vespucia can elect a new president, said another secret delegate. The Convention is thinking along the lines of electing a military general as the first President of Vespucia in keeping with the tradition of the old republic, The Herald has been told.
“President Mad Dog has a nice ring to it for those of an historical bent, and it has the added benefit of keeping the military on side in the event the polls are wrong,” said one nervous delegate.
“Happy Fourth of July Vespucia!”
