Coming over here, shitting in our woods…
A small bear arrived in this country some years ago. The friendly bear, with his old hat, battered suitcase, duffel coat, and love of marmalade, seemed like the sort of bear you could trust.
But you would be wrong. For he was from deepest, darkest Peru.
Predictably, there was a note attached to his coat, that read “Please look after this bear. Thank you.” As well it would. Because he had been sent by his Aunt Lucy as a stowaway. Clearly expecting that the benevolent British public would just look after this illegal immigrant bear.
The bear travelled all the way by lifeboat. It didn’t sink, and he didn’t wash up drowned on a Mediterranean shore. No, he made it all the way here. To be adopted by the Brown family, as well he might be, with their lies about Prudence and “no more boom and bust.”
They named him Paddington, for they had found him at the train station bearing such a name. Why it could not be Waterloo, Leave.EU do not know.
They took him home to 32 Windsor Gardens. He has been known to frequent Portabello Road market nearby, driving hard bargains for marmalade sandwiches and helping other immigrants move into nearby tower blocks. As well he might.
Now it turns his creator, one Michael Bond, has died. And the Herald mourns his passing.
But Leave.EU has no time for sympathy, no time to let the dead be buried. And so, it is important that the scrounging young bear fucks off back to Peru.
For at 16:20, 22 June, 2017, the Leave.EU twitter account tweeted an image of a burning Grenfell Tower as a meme. This bore the words “An amnesty for Grenfell illegal immigrants? Absolutely not! The law is the law”. It also contained the Leave.EU logo, and a logo for GoSkippy.com insurance. Yes. An insurance advert. You’ll need insurance in case someone steals your marmalade.
But let’s not politicise an orphaned bear.