HRH Prince Philip was straight back to work today insulting foreigners just three days after being released from hospital.
Palace officials were quick to point out that the hospitalisation was purely precautionary as the result of an infection brought about by a pre-existing medical condition, and were very quick to deny that the pre-existing medical condition was that of being dead.
“The nurse was foreign” a suspiciously skeletal and malodorous yet regal and statesmanlike Duke told reporters.”‘I asked her, what exotic part of the world do you come from? Birmingham, she replied. So I asked her; do you still chuck spears at each other? You look like you’re on drugs. Where’s my bloody dinner, woman?”
London Zoo reportedly cancelled a scheduled appearance by national treasure Prince Philip (108) on Friday; head zookeeper Reg Herpes informed us ‘we have a lot of monkeys here, it was just asking for trouble racist gaffe-wise to be honest, it’d be like shooting fish in a barrel. We only accepted the booking in the first place because we’d heard he’d gone into hospital, we didn’t seriously expect him to come out’.
Prince Philip’s next official appointment, visiting a Chinese takeaway in Neasden to accuse them all of having slitty eyes, is due to take place on Thursday shortly after his state funeral.
