The Duke of Edinburgh is reported to have become embroiled in a food poisoning compensation scam scandal today just hours after being discharged from King Edward VIIII’s hospital in Battersea.
The Duke is rumoured to have engaged the disreputable firm of solicitors, Food Ambulance Chasers For You, to pursue a compensation claim against Royal Ascot. This is apparently in relation to his recent illness, although we await confirmation.
Our legal sources say it will be alleged that Royal Ascot served dodgy burgers to the Duke of Windsor while he was at the races. And several young ladies who tan too well to be British failed to curtsy.
It is further alleged that the catering for Ascot has been outsourced to a package holiday firm specialising in holidays on the Costa del Sol.
The firm itself has not been named but has recently expressed irritation at the volume of claims being brought against it by Britons since the whiplash insurance scam has been curtailed.
The Duke is rumoured to be seeking damages in the millions of pounds and a formal apology written in Greek.
A spokeswoman for Royal Ascot, Ms Pulchella Equus, vigorously denied the claim,
“We will defend this charge in the courts should the claim be brought.
We only serve swan to the Duke, with a pint of ‘Fernando de Castilla Antique Palo Cortad’ sherry.
As the Duke personally kills each swan while pointing to his wife and giggling like a school boy, we really don’t see how he can hope to get away with this?
Ascot isn’t even on the Costa del Sol this year.”
