The white van man community has been under a great deal of pressure to apologise for one of them deliberately running over members of the public earlier this week.
The entire van driving community has been drawing flak for not taking sufficient action to de-radicalise van drivers or even publicly condemn Darren Osborne, the dickhead actually responsible for the atrocity.
“They haven’t even held a sing-a-long or a candlelit vigil or anything” Hermione Basketweaver, a 23 year old community outreach and social cohesion coordinator from Hampstead, told the Herald. “Until the white van drivers admit they have a problem with extremism this problem is going to continue.”
“I’m sure not all white van drivers are terrorists. But all terrorists drive white vans.”
Laurie Laud, an independent parcel delivery driver for Yodel, said:
“Eh? That bloke doesn’t even own a white van. He bloody rented it. What you talking about? Apart from occasionally driving a van I have nothing in common with that wanker.”
Asked if he had a message for Darren Osborne he said “You ain’t no white van man bruv.”
Elders in the delivery community have been on the back foot since the attack took place on Sunday with many peaceful van drivers feeling the full force of the public’s outrage.
“We’ve seen a huge increase in harassment towards van drivers in the last few days with less drivers giving way to us after we jump queues in traffic or simply force our way out of right turning junctions.
There are literally hundreds of thousands of white van men in this country peacefully going about their business. It would be ridiculous to condemn all of them as fanatical, racist lunatics just because one of them is. That would be daft.”
