Prime Minister Theresa May will change her name to Votey McVoteface ahead of this Thursday’s general election.
With the election a matter of hours away and with Jeremy Corbyn’s Labour Party snapping at the Tories’ heels in every poll, Downing Street has reportedly announced that the PM will change her name to Votey McVoteface in a last ditch effort to win the youth vote.
Young people nationwide have been vocal in their support for the left and have found a champion in Jeremy Corbyn who promises to abolish tuition fees should he become Prime Minister.
According to sources close to Downing Street, Prime Minister McVoteface sees this as a chance to redress the balance. Cornelia Grandbotham of the Ealing Conservative club told me that “we are all behind the PM on this. In marginal constituencies like ours where every vote really does count you can’t rely on minor issues like tuition fees as the loony lefties have. We need a gimmick to get the youngsters to step away from their XBoxes and march down to the polling station. Nothing inspires the youth of today to vote like a silly name. We’ve got this one in the bag.”
I spoke to one young voter who will be voting for the first time. He told me that the name change had decided the election for him.
“I was going to vote Labour cos, you know, the tuition fees thing and that. The Prime Minister’s played a blinder though. Votey McVoteface? Who isn’t going to vote for her?”
The polls are yet to reflect the impact of the change but, having seen his beloved Arsenal triumph in the FA cup final, it seems that Corbyn may have been slack in defence and let a late winner slip past him in the dying moments of the match.
