“We didn’t hack Paul Nuttall” claims anarchistic hacker group Anonymous, as they moved to deny claims that it had hacked the UKIP leader and MEP.
“Anonymous strongly refutes all rumours and allegations that we have hacked Paul Nuttall. Whatever nonsense the slap headed little gobshite comes outwith is entirely his own work, or that of his swivel-eyed UKIP colleagues.”
Adding that had it wanted to hack the tweed wearing woolly back and plant false memories it could easily have done so.
“Let’s face it, he doesn’t even know where his own house is, convincing him to claim he had climbed Everest backwards on a camel or won the World Cup for England would hardly even qualify as brainwashing. A quick rinse would do it. On the whites cycle obviously.”
Speaking to the Rochdale Herald’s Stoke on Trent sister paper, the Pottery Thunderbox, Russian computer hacking expert Dr Wilhelm Shanklovsky suggested that Nuttall may have simply been a victim of his own failure to observe simple security procedures.
“It would appear that yet again someone has fallen foul of the Internet’s dark side. When will people like Paul Nuttall learn to put a firewall between their brain and fingers.”
