Two mysterious Russian stationery salesmen are coming under scrutiny tonight as memo wallets they supplied to government departments may not be all they are cracked up to be.
An insider at the office for the minister of Brexit, David Davis told us;
“We’ve had problems in the past with the press snapping handwritten notes of ministers entering Downing Street and zooming on the image to see confidential information. We just couldn’t think how to combat this clever use of cameras. We tried invisible ink, but no one could read it. We tried Chinese Whispers, but they always came out with actual ideas at the other end and it was finally banned as being ‘politic alley incorrect banana’.”
“Then two Russian chaps turned up to show the PM some new clever wallets to dress the memos in and hey presto they cover the text up! Not everyone was convinced by what appeared to be invisible coverings, but after some flattery she agreed and all the sycophants applauded and said what a great idea they were. Boris in particular said they were absolutely spiffing.”
However some are now doubting the efficacy of this new security measure after a child pointed out they didn’t make any fucking difference because they were invisible and didn’t exist.
The child also added how stupid adults are not to just use A4 thin cardboard note holders to prevent the press photographers from snapping the secret scribbling of ministers entering meetings.
The mystery Russians are tonight reported missing having left a pile of the suspect memo holders behind, which police are reportedly finding great difficulty in locating.
