In his bid to become master of the universe, Donald Trump has postulated a new set of axioms about the physical universe as we know it. During his combined groundbreaking physics lecture and presidential candidacy acceptance speech, no less than 27 previously unknown laws were revealed.
Attending the acceptance speech was physics Professor Buzz Lightyear of Trump University, a leading proponent of the newly tagged ‘Trumpian theory’. Expanding on Trumps revelations, Lightyear told our reporter
“This is an exciting new development. Academics have long asserted the possible existence of multiple universes. There must be at least a semi-infinite number of universes in which what our leader has stated are not falsehoods. One of the main sticking points in our understanding of physics has been an insistence upon using experimental results to back up new theories. Anyone that disagrees is just a nit-picking commie libtard, yeehaw!”
In a further development, another leading academic, mathematician Professor Hans Kibble has hotly refuted the controversial new claims.
“Just because these claims may be true in a semi-infinite number of other universes, doesn’t mean they are likely to be true in this one, since there are infinitely more universes in which these claims are utterly ridiculous. The probability they are true here is asymptotically vanishing, or in layman’s terms this is utter Bullshit. That Lightyear fellow is unhinged and even thinks he can fly like superman. Now let me get on with my work. ”
In a parallel development, Trump supporters have been awarded honorary PhDs in a bid to promote the new paradigm. It is as yet unclear as to whether this actually happened in this universe or another completely imaginary one.
The debate continues.
