Theresa May – the facts

  1. She is planning to get Hello magazine to do an exclusive of her luxury life in No 10

2. She owns a talking mirror and can send an entire kingdom to sleep for 100 years

3. She cut the heads of her Barbies for being disloyal to her

4. She wears blue underwear and dresses to the right

5. Her favourite sound is the lamenting of her fallen enemies’ families

6. Miss Piggy is her childhood heroine

7. She took up politics after her plans to present Blue Peter were thwarted

8. She has love and hate tattooed on her knuckles in invisible ink

9. Her weasels are better than your weasels

10. Her belly button was, until recently, an inny but is now an outty

11. She can prove that the world is flat but was brought up not to

12. She eats the souls of those who cross her in battle

13. The Large Hadron Collider holds no fears for her as she already knows the truth about     Mrs Thatcher

14. Her breath can freeze small objects for up to 20 minutes

15. She spent her gap year mouse worrying

16. She scares police dogs

17. She is addicted to jet lag

18. Despite being the Vicar’s daughter she claims she has never hung from a chandelier doing stunts

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