The beloved obesity peddler Ronald McDonald was found dead in the street in the early hours of this morning. The cause of death is unknown but locals believe he was beaten to death due to a recent rise in clown sightings, which have sparked fear in the area.

It is believed Mr. McDonald was on his way to a local school to promote the new government funded, McDonald’s ‘Econo-Range’, which is set to replace the silly and expensive menu that Jamie Oliver implemented.

Police and Paramedics arrived on scene but sadly Mr. McDonald had already died.


A Police spokesman said; We can’t release any information at this point as our investigations are still ongoing, however, his next if kin, The Hamburgler, has been notified of this tragic event.”

Get monthly highlights in your inbox