Thae Yong Ho, a North Korean diplomat, is widely reported to have defected from the People’s Totally Free And Lovely Free People’s Free Democratic Free Republic of Free North Korea after experiencing Rochdale town centre on a recent diplomatic visit.

“He was particularly impressed by Healy Dell Heritage Centre and Tea Rooms,” said a source from the foreign office, “He realised that he’d never be able to experience anything like that in North Korea. But when he saw The Rochdale Exchange and the Wheatsheaf Centre he was totally sold!”

It is expected that once Kim Jung Un- know in Rochdale as Kim Wrong Un- has calmed down that the Ho will settle into a nice three bedroom in Heywood with his wife and child.