There was massive relief for the owner of a constipated dog today, as their long search for the perfect dumping spot finally ended in the nation’s capital.
The owners of Bertie the Boxer were close to giving up on finding the perfect spot for their beloved dog to squeeze one out, but were ecstatic when the snooty pooch finally settled on the steps of number 10 Downing Street.
After a near month long quest which took them to every nook and cranny of the UK.
Famed Canine behaviorist Ray Kinitin was glad to hear Bertie’s pain was over, but unsurprised at the result of the final location.
“It’s a well known fact that when dogs chose where to curl one off, it’s a painstaking, agonizing search, as if it were a paralysing life choice, especially when it’s -15c outside at 11:45pm and you just want to go to effin bed.”
“It’s common for dogs to choose spots that already smell a but iffy. If you’re dog is struggling to find a spot we’d recommend you take them to your local council offices immediately.”
Bertie’s owner Daisy Cutter was emotional that the nightmare was over and the family could return home.
“We thought it would never end – we’d been to every single town and city across the UK, but he just wouldn’t settle on a spot, our Bertie is so particular, except about food, i’ve seen him eat cat poo.”
“We’d given up all hope, but as we passed Downing Street, he started tugging on the lead, and bolted through the fence. we’re overjoyed it’s done with and we can finally go home.”
A Number 10 press release confirmed they were happy for Bertie and ensured they were committed to moving the steaming pile by 2022 once funding for public services were approved.
