Residents of the leafy south Manchester suburb of West Didsbury were forced to spit their skinny lattes out in shock this morning after the area was captured by radical Jeremy Corbyn supporters.
Guerilla Corbynistas successfully implemented their long held ‘Occupy Burton Road’ strategy by storming the Metropolitan at 0900 hours this morning, ruining brunches for yummy mummies and wannabe footballers wives.
Rebel action continued long into the late morning with some boycotting the local Co-op for its neo capitalist policies, and a separate group demanding fairer prices for a short back and sides at 17 of Burton Road’s 23 ‘unique hair stylists.’
Lead Corbynista and scruffy urchin Ben Tony confirmed the group were here to stay “This our right to protest. We refuse to leave, at least until the so called ‘Great Kathmandu’ drops any outdated reference to its imperial master’s shameful name for the city and reverts to its rightful name of Great Cat Men Don’t. Corbynistas unite!!”
He then led the assembled crowd in a 52 minute chant of ‘Ooooooooh Jeremy Corrrbyn!’
Residents who braved the protest were either too scared or too not bothered to pass comment, while Didsbury Dave was too busy preening his eyebrows in the toilets of the Metropolitan to notice anything other than how gorgeous he is.
Greater Manchester Mayor Andy Burnham warned Burton Road remains a no go area for the time being, until the group relocate to Chorlton’s Vegan Grocery Unicorn to recharge on chickpea noodles & organic beetroots at approx. 1600 hours.
There was an upside for property developers and buy to let landlords however, with studio flats in the area plummeting to a bargain £400,000 as a result of ongoing tensions.
