A Burnley man has been explaining why he bought a Polaroid Camera over the weekend, used it to take 40 pictures of his own genitals and then handed them out to strangers on the bus last Monday.
Stan Still said, “I’ve been quite lonely ever since my wife died. I’d been reading about these things called unsolicited dick pics. According to top pick-up artists, a picture of your flaccid member is definitely the way to make the women go weak at the knees and want to sleep with you.”
Stan went on, “I’m not very good with phones and things as I’m a bit of a techno fogey. so I went to my local Cash Converters and bought a Polaroid Camera. I figured it would save me having to print out the pictures in Asda. So I got home, put my best suit on and then took 40 pictures.”
“Top pick-up artists say that it’s always good to surprise women so I decided to just sit next to them on the bus and then give them a picture. They were very surprised. One woman was so surprised she pepper sprayed me.”
It’s understood that Stan was later arrested and will appear in court tomorrow charged with public indecency. Stan hopes to do a technology awareness course whilst in prison so that he can utilise phones when he comes out of prison.