President Trump incensed at travelling half way round the world to meet hostages that were not even white

Donald Trump has spoken today of his extreme dissatisfaction at travelling all the way to Korea to meet American hostages – who were not even white.

“The CIA told me that there was an opportunity for Americans to be freed,” said the POTUS.  “Americans they said.  Americans I wanted.  Korean looking folk I got.  I didn’t fly all the way to this shithole country for them to just free some of their own people and pretend they are some of ours.”

“Heck, I could have accepted Orientals if they’d have been women.  But men?  I mean, I don’t want a rub n tug off some Gaysian, that’s more the Vice President’s bag.”

After a short press conference where the President looked physically uncomfortable by the proximity of so many “foreigns”, he professed how proud he was of himself and his huge achievements in diplomacy.  With North Korea no longer looking like it fancies a nuke, the Nobel Peace Prize candidate has started warming up the Iranians instead.  Could Donald’s tweets put the purr in Persia, or is this just some blag to cause oil prices to rise further?

In any event, Republican Presidents have long appreciated Middle Eastern traditions like kicking a hornet’s nest, so this latest action has been taken as a sign the President is returning to a more conventional modus operandi.  Work is ongoing to use this new level of foreign policy engagement to free other hostages.

Sadly however, as Air Force One prepared to head back to the United States, there is still no news on the long delayed rescue of hostages Melania and Barron.