A Rochdale woman who found Hitlers face in a slice of toast has revealed she’s converted to Nazism.
The woman’s son said, “About a week after she found Hitlers face in the toast I went round for tea. I noticed she’d removed a painting of the entire family we had commissioned for her 50th birthday and replaced it with an enormous swastika. I didn’t think much of it at the time but then more and more things changed.”
Over time, the woman began to dress in uniforms and demanding that people salute her and address her with “Heil”. She even managed to get elected as a member of the local council.
Head of the council, Paul Mitford said, “She joined the council group that look after the park. We were ecstatic at first because her enthusiasm for dog fouling was so infectious. She even volunteered to lead a team of wardens to enforce the park rules. Her record was amazing. She cut dog fouling and ball game issues by 100%. The problem was, hospital admissions increased dramatically in that time. One dog owner was admitted to hospital with a broken jaw, fractured skull, 5 broken ribs, a punctured lung and a broken ankle after picking up a doggy bag.
Now she’s managed to get all her friends elected to the council and intimidates anyone who she thinks opposes her.”
The womans son alleges that she had recently begun buying illegal firearms from internet sellers.
He told the Herald, “She demanded that the WI group she goes to hold a vote on whether they wanted her to still be a member. She won the vote because it was held on a night when only her friends were there. Now she’s had the groups leader arrested on terrorism charges and has taken over the group. I’m really worried because they’ve all joined a glider club.”
The woman’s daughter said, “I went round for tea the other night and she lectured me on racial purity for 5 hours. I only mentioned I’ve been seeing a man from Burnley.
Not only that, she’s replaced all the lights in the house with huge flaming torches and says she intends to invade Oldham WI.
Why did it have to be Hitlers face she saw?”
