World renowned transport provider Southern Rail have been awarded the plum contract of providing locomotion between Belfast and Westminster for DUP politicians.
Southern will take care of all transport needs for Arlene Foster and anyone else she may wish to bring to cabinet meetings once she has finished telling Ms May how things are going to operate in coalition.
Posters will be plastered today all over Northern Ireland explaining with easy to misunderstand charts and graphics just how pleased the DUP are with the service they experience travelling with Southern.
An aide for Theresa May announced the agreement to reassure the country that governance was ongoing in a stable and patient method.
Very patient, if Southern’s reputation for encouraging mindfulness in transport is maintained.
The DUP seemed less than impressed however, throwing a cloud over the burst of opposition the country is feeling knowing that yet another minor party that didn’t expect power are going to be used by the democratic Tory party in their internal war games.
Reporters asked the PM’s aide how Southern, with its famous service record and its lack of a rail link between Belfast and London, were going to fulfil the DUP contract?
“That’s entirely the point.” The aide replied.
