Prime Minister Netanyahu demanded an apology from the White House today. The
move came after Donald Trump scored his Israeli short stay lower than Saudi
Arabia on TripAdvisor.
The Prime Minister was alleged to be “in his office throwing a chair at the wall for an hour” after reading Trump’s reviews of his holidays in both countries.
“It got worse the more he read.” The aide revealed. “Trump gave Netanyahu zero stars in every category and King Salman full marks, especially for decor in accommodation and arms purchases.”
Donald Trump did respond via Twitter, but characteristically, he wasn’t exactly conciliatory.
“Why should I say sorry? Where was the gold? Saudis have massively gold. And they dress fancy. Netanyahu didn’t even try. What did he expect?”
But apparently what really set Netanyahu off were the personal criticisms.
“He told me he’s a property developer. First thing he said. Can you believe that folks? But all the houses he builds are small. So so small. Thousands of tiny houses. I feel sorry for him. I really do. No style. Not like Salman. Salman understands decor.”
Trump went on to complain that there were too many walls in Israel, he didn’t know why they built them, and they were all,
“Too brutalist and lacking the charm of the sweeping desert views of Saudi Arabia, which is in the Middle East.”
A diplomatic analyst, speaking to the Herald on the condition of anonymity, gave his analysis of what went awry for Benjamin.
“He ignored the advice of his closest aides. He greeted Trump with a power handshake. He then boasted he was the bigliest property developer in the world.”
Oh dear. President Trump is reported to be increasingly sensitive to the ongoing scandal involving his hands.
“Whereas King Salman of Saudi Arabia was smarter. He employed a midget to shake hands with Trump, telling Trump it was a traditional way to honour a visiting king. Even then it was a close run thing. Trump’s hands are borderline insane.”
But the recovery was swift when King Salman wrote out a cheque for over one hundred billion dollars and invited President Trump to hold his glowing balls.
