The group Anonymous have today declared war on ISIS for the 4657th time.
A spokesman for the group said, “ISIS should prepare for a fate worse than death. We will strike your social media accounts. The porn we will upload will involve more beardless men and involve more shaving cream than before.
We know where you live. We are ordering 70,000 of Domino’s most expensive pizzas to be delivered to you. Our army are writing bogus Health and Safety inspections of restaurants you own.”
A spokesman for ISIS responded, “I wish they’d hurry with the pizza. I’ve been besieged in Mosul for a month now and all we’ve got to eat is crappy potato stew. Can’t say as I get much time for porn these days. I mean with having to shoot my rifle and post videos on youtube, you don’t really get the time.”
Not everyone is as gung-ho as Anonymous though. Human rights activist Hermione Chulmleigh-Worcester said, “This is really irresponsible of Anonymous. If any of these men are caught watching movies of men shaving they face defenestration or worse.”
Anonymous also threatened to reveal where ISIS live so that people could visit them and tell them what they think of them.
A spokesman said, “This is only the start of our campaign. If you do not cease your activities we will order hundreds of cinema tickets and get it charged to your account.”