In what would at first glance appear to be a complete and utter ripoff of an Onion article dating back to 1997, Labour Party Supremo Jeremy Corbyn has seen his popularity rating soaring to an all time high this afternoon following the sudden and unexpected endorsement from currently irrelevant yet undeniably kick-ass rock-blues three-piece pop music ensemble ZZ Top.
For the benefit of anyone too young to remember, ZZ Top enjoyed a brief stint of chart topping success during the late 1980s and early 90s, and were epitomised by their etherial, non-corporeal appearances in the form of ghostly apparitions in their numerous top pop videos of the era.
ZZ Top’s videos at the time were epitomised by the mysterious appearance of the trio and the Eliminator (their customised, souped-up hotrod), accompanied by an entourage of scantily clad, sexually assertive women who inevitably used their sexual dominance in a subversive fashion to alter the personalities of ‘beta cuck’ males into archetypal hard-rock alpha male stud types.
Corbyn, despite his general public image as a womanising philanderer via association with top-pop harlot Dianne Abbot (compared with the weak, ineffectual virgin image typified in de rigeur ZZ Top videos), is said to have benefited from the exposure that starring in the aforementioned vid has brought him.
“It’s been fuck***ing great to be perfectly honest”, he supposedly told us in a completely non legally binding so-called ‘interview’. “Since ZZ Top materialised on that patch of grass outside Westminster and tossed the Eliminator car keys over to me, I’ve not been able to beat the hot bla*rt off with a shit*ty stick. You try telling that to the popular press though They won’t have none of it”.
