Professor Brian Cox has explained the recent election of Donald Trump by pointing to a rare stellar phenomenon. The Oldham–but-not-Rochdale born scientist explained:-
“On the 9th of November, an emission of electronically charged beta-ions was observed in space. This ‘cosmic fart’ caused aberrations in people’s reasoning skills and thought processes. It covered most of mainland America, particularly the central and southern areas. Coastal regions like California, Oregon and most of New England were not affected.”
Professor Cox’s findings were echoed in slightly different terms by the Rochdale Herald’s scientific correspondent Mystic Kylie: “The Sun in the house of Capricorn with Venus rising in Pisces led to my prediction for Gemini on November 8th ‘Orange Americans born under Gemini have a strong chance of gaining high office tomorrow’.”
“This is not a common phenomenon but it has happened twice this year.” added Professor Cox, whose prodigious cleverness has been ascribed to over-compensation for having been born so close to, but not actually in, Rochdale. ‘There was another one in mid-to-late June over the UK.’
