National News

An Audi driver from Rochdale has denied allegations that he used his indicators whilst driving on the M62 last Tuesday morning. At least one woman was injured and several thousand people were left stranded on...

On an uncharacteristically serious note we'd like to thank each and every person who has donated or otherwise supported Paul's campaign for The Refugee Council.

In the face of a shareholder revolt, retail giant Sports Direct is to drag its working practices kicking and screaming into the 1920's.  Following a damning house of commons committee review and several exposés by...

British geriatrics were claiming victory this afternoon in the long held ‘it was better in the old days’ debate against younger demographics. Research released by the Resolution Foundation has shown that it was actually conceivable...

Royal offspring are like the grown up children who return to the nest once they have completed their time in higher education. You think it's finally over but unlike the Geoff Hurst 1966 fourth...

A pig headed Southern man has reduced his negative opinion of the north by 0.00000001% after spending a delightful weekend in Heckmondwicke. Southerner Paul Thatcher-Wright, who based all his opinions of the north on 5...

A pretentious couple from Rochdale have installed another place to have a pooh in their house, for some reason. Steve and Barbara Dickinson have revealed that they can now do a turd in their bedroom...

Prince Andrew has today sought to clarify comments he made about attending Pizza Express in Woking 19 years ago. A spokesman for Prince Andrew said, "Many people have said that it is strange that Prince...

Scotland's first minister has said autumn 2018 would be a "common sense" date for a 4th independence referendum. Nicola Sturgeon continued to insist, however, that English arrogance, the poor performance of Celtic in the Champions...

Ketamine dealers nationwide have moved to distance themselves from Katie Hopkins, it has been confirmed. The news came following the upholding of a complaint by the Independent Press Standards Organisation made by Hopkins into recent...

Muppets across Britain are furious today after learning that the name of their species was used as a slur to describe vandals by an announcer on a South West train. The furry creatures (proper name...

Mark Carney, Governor of the Bank of England, the place where they invent money, has admitted that remain campaigners accused of scaremongering may actually be truthmongering. The surprising intervention comes as new economic data strongly...

Britain's most patriotic patriots have led calls for everyone in the country to be forced to inject themselves with poppies. The push for proper respect for our troops has secured backing from across the...

Buckingham Palace has released a statement from the Queen denying that she has ever met Prince Andrew. In the statement the Queen said, "I've never heard of this man, he's never been in my womb...

It was revealed today that the Brexit deal was decided by the British government and the EC leaders taking part in an episode of popular 1980s game show 'Bullseye'. The British pair, Dominic Raab and...

A dutiful family dog has very helpfully informed a sleeping baby that there is somebody at the door. The seven year old Cocker Spaniel made the announcement at about 8pm this evening shortly after his...