Head of worlds largest global paedophile network spotted in Dublin

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The leader of a global paedophile network has arrived in Ireland as he begins touring the country today. Pope Francis flew into Dublin Airport and was met by supporters who had queued for several hours to...

Mayor of New Orleans accidentally summons Donald Trump after saying ‘Hurricane’ five times

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Mitch Landrieu, the Mayor of New Orleans has told has told us that he inadvertently summoned Donald Trump to New Orleans. The Mayor said, "I was going through a few things in my head whilst...

Concern mounts that US teachers are stockpiling weapons of maths instruction

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Deliverable weapons of maths instruction in the hands of a school or tuition network, or the two working together constitutes as grave a threat as can be imagined. Debate continues to rage in the US...

Bellend backs International Women’s Day by stopping sexist jokes for 24 Hours

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A Rochdale man has received praise worldwide for the noble idea of celebrating International Women's Day by boldly telling no sexist jokes for the entire day. High ranking Crayola salesman Manfred Ladabie, 36, who spends...

Saudi Arabia’s handling of Khashoggi killing worst cover up ever, says completely bald man

A completely bald man who is convinced everybody thinks he has a full head of hair has criticised Saudi Arabia's handling of the killing of journalist Jamal Khashoggi, saying authorities undertook the "worst cover-up...

ISIS narrowly beats Halloween and Presidential election in annual scary competition

This year's annual scary competition is still a 3 horsemen of the apocalypse race in it's closing stages.

Fat bottomed ape learns to mimic human sounds

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Washington DC - A seventy year primitive primate that can mimic human words such as hello, bigly, braggadocios, and covfefe is thought to be the first of its kind to be elected to the...

For 50p a day you can sponsor an American Border Child

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New Charity is hoping to help the children Donald Trump demanded to be locked up at the US border.  A new charity has been started to help the child hostages at the US border. The...

Donald Trump is a twat, confirm G6 leaders

Leader's of the G6 have agreed on the text of a communique officially declaring that Donald Trump is a twat. One spokesperson said, "It's been a tough few days. It didn't look like anyone was...

Italians face criticism over construction. 

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The Italian government had come under severe criticism today for the standards of its building construction in the 1600's. This comes in the wake of the earthquake that has left 270 dead in the...

Donald Trump’s staff installs 400 extra red buttons to “delay the inevitable”

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The fate of the billions of people could lie in the hands and minds of these two, often unpredictable leaders, which is a concern for many.

Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump to measure micro-willies at summit

Thin-skinned, narcissistic, alternative-reality dwelling clown Donald Trump and "Nuclear" lunatic Kim-Jong Un are to make history by meeting later in the year to engage in a micropenis dick-measuring competition, it has been confirmed. The...

After being pussy whipped by North Korea, Trump turns his attention to Afganyst Agfhanist...

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Having been pussy-whipped by North Korea in the Pacific, US president Donald Trump has signalled his readiness to turn his military attention to Afganyst Agfhanist Afgannyst...the Taliban. Speaking to the Rochdale Herald, White House Press...

Trump demands resignation of Dow Jones

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White House sources reveal alleged serial sex offender, proven serial failed businessman and currently failing POTUS Donald J Trump has called for the head of Dow Jones. "Just who the hell does this Jones think...

How do you solve a problem like Korea?

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The world is on the edge of its seat awaiting the next exchange between President of The United Hates of Americaland, Donald J Trump, and communist dictator and universally acknowledged fucktard, Kim Jong Un. With...

Julian Assange plans quiet Christmas at home

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Julian Assange has confirmed that he will be having a quiet Christmas at home this year. In a telephone call Mr Assange told us, "It's been a tiring year. In the summer I stood...
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