Other News

It is to be announced that reality as we understand it is nothing more than a computer simulation. The shock admission was beamed into the minds of all world leaders simultaneously at 8 a.m. G.M.T....

Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for Britons by bending us over the negotiating table and taking...

The Conservatives hope to boost the number of young people applying for party membership by offering them a free Wham Bar every time they visit their local food bank, according to a new proposal. The...

Ryanair have admitted that their latest cost-cutting measure, planes without pilots, has not been a complete success. The airline, famed for its no-frills stance, with optional extras generally costing more than the actual ticket, had...

Festive upper middle class shoppers in Waitrose were astonished and horrified to learn that the store is run as a workers' collective. Eric Pode (40), a shopper in the Croydon branch and a keen amateur...

Tom Hiddleston, the one and only attractive ginger man in the world, has scarpered after news broke today that his relationship with Taylor Swift had ended.  Tom is reported to have told a close friend...

Amber Rudd has confirmed that the Man from Del Monte is to be deported. The man who arrived in the UK in the 1980's recently became a grandfather but is now facing deportation for working...

Property botherer and dreadful chef Martin Roberts has demanded a recount following his failure to be elected President of the Jungle in this year's 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here'. Roberts, the celebrity...

Reclusive Wall Street tycoons the Duke Brothers have been at it again, this time betting against US Democracy.

Popular presenter of ITV’s The Chase, Bradley Walsh, has been announced today as a new companion in long running BBC sci-fi show, Doctor Who. The decision is being hailed as a great move against the...

Nicola Sturgeon made a surprising admission late this afternoon, when she revealed she is yet to read her job description as Scottish First Minister. "Don't look at me sonny." she began her spirited defence.  "Do...

If the children of the late Sir Bruce Forsyth wish to inherit his estate, they must remember the individual parts of it that they see on a conveyor belt, it has emerged. Under the terms...

Rochdale is going nuts this Friday with MEGA DEALS accross the town centre. Grab a bargain, they're giving it away.  LITERALLY! -Head down to your local charity shop on Friday and a get a HUGE 10p...

With todays news that the Calais Jungle has been cleared of filthy asylum seekers, the ramshackle dwellings have immediately been occupied by an even more dreadful people with beards called 'Noddlers'. These horrific trend setters,...

Conservative politician Jacob Rees-Mogg is said to have been left "apoplectic" earlier today after receiving several hundred carrier pigeon messages informing him of the impending changes to data protection legislation. The MP for North East...

VAR is now the favourite to win BBC Sports Personality of the Year. It marks a remarkable turnaround in VAR's fortunes after spending the whole of the World Cup being derided by everyone, even...